(^^^^^^Me trying to set boundaries)
Have you ever interviewed for a job and compromised on benefits, pay, duties, your soul because you felt that they wouldn’t hire you if you spoke up on what you actually wanted?
When you take work that doesn’t fit within your boundaries a lot of feelings start to come up, like:
You stop bringing your A game to the table.
You start to feel crappy and frustrated because work as started to feel draining and hard.
That turns into resentment.
Which turns into overwhelm.
Which turns into burnout.
Which leads to lots of crying and despair.
Which leads you to leave your soul sucking job.
Which leads you to accepting something else that you don’t like/love/fits you because ANYTHING can be better than what you were just doing.
Rinse and repeat
WHAT FUN, YOU SAY.
When you compromise on what you want then you are going to be unhappy. Period. Whether that is in work or your personal relationships, it never ends well. It also keeps you from fully valuing the amazing, wonderful, unique unicorn you are! (and we don’t have time to not value ourselves. Girls gotta get paid AND feel fully valued.)
When we are looking for our next career, our next job, our next apartment - honestly, whatever the eff it is in our life, establishing clear boundaries is literally the most important thing you can do.
Sometimes, this also means the search is longer. Instead of finding a job in two months, it might mean six months. It might mean you live in some uncomfortable feelings of self-doubt, fear, and unease for a little longer. It means a lot of things, but the one thing it doesn’t mean is compromising on your values and what you really want.
Identifying your boundaries is not easy work. It requires you to dig deep into your own values. It requires you to shut out the outside noise about what your life/wants should or should not look like and take a good look at what YOU FREAKING WANT. It means saying no to opportunities that seem like the could be the right fit. It means coming back to the table, taking risks, and learning a shit ton. It means patience (ugh. I hate that word).
When you set clear boundaries and stand up for what you want, you will be happier.
You will find a job that fits the life you want, that plays to your strengths, that pays you what you want to be paid. You will show up happier.
You will be more engaged.
You will be adding to your life, rather than taking away from it.